birthday gift ideas girlfriend age 21 image
my girlfriend is pregnant with my child. we want to keep it. but we want to know the financial part of it before we make our final decision. i am 14 she is 15. and we have no idea what to do
Answer
Child support is about 1/3 of your income until the child is 18. I'm not sure if you'll have to pay now but you will have to pay when you turn 18.
I hope your relationship goes well, but people do grow and change a lot between 14 and adulthood. You guys might have completely different lives and interests when you're 25 or 30. It can happen that you two stay together forever but most people do not end up with the person they went out with at age 14/15.
I would consider the following whenmaking your decision:
- Where will you two live with your child in a few years? I am assuming you will be living with your parents until you're 18 but after that you are an adult with a family, so you'll need your own place. I would search Craig's List in your town to see what the average rent for an apartment in your area goes for. Make up a pretend budget. Add car payments and gas expenses, auto insurance (ask your parents what they pay, then add a little more because younger drivers have to pay a higher insurance premium), groceries for three people, utilities, (utilities means your heat, electric bill, water, cable bill if you watch TV and use the internet), cell phone bill if you have one, now add baby food, diapers, clothing health care for the baby, and day care costs.
- Most full time jobs that a teenager can get without a college degree or a good vocational training program do not pay enough for a single person to live comfortably on their own, never mind supporting a family. You might be able to scrape by in a really cheap area where the cost of living is low but otherwise you may be caught in a welfare trap. What are you and your girlfriend's career plans? Ask yourself if you'll be realistically able to go to college or complete a training program in your field of choice while taking care of a baby full time. A minimum wage job is great for a teenager but you don't want to be still stuck working at one when you are grown up with bills to pay, those kinds of jobs just don't cut it.
- Child care - Do you have a plan for who is going to watch the child every day while you guys finish high school, and hopefully go on to college? Keep in mind that you will have to be working a lot in addition to your classes. Books, tuition, car expenses and auto insurance are major expenses for teenagers with part time jobs. Most jobs you can get at age 15 or 16 pay minimum wage (cashiering, salesperson at the mall, bus boy or waiter...all good jobs for teenagers but they don't pay a lot) Day care is very expensive, adult working households with two parents working pretty good middle class jobs often have trouble affording child care. Did one of your parents volunteer to stay home and provide child care for your baby, for free? Some teenage parents are lucky and have that option, but if your parents have their own jobs you'll be paying for full time day care. I would definitely call the local day cares and get pricing and see if that is something that is affordable to you.
- Keep in mind that this baby won't stay a baby...he or she will be about six years old when you are still barely 21. You will either be finishing up college or if you choose a trade you will probably still be an apprentice just starting out not making much money yet. Now the child will be in school and asking to join youth hockey, ballet, karate, piano lessons, etc. These things cost a lot of money. He will need nice clothes for school, a lot more expensive than little footie pajamas for infants. He will be invited to birthday parties for classmates and have to bring a gift. He'll want a bike and the video games and toys that all his friends have, lunch money, money for field trips, trips to the movies with friends, etc. Not saying you have to spoil him and buy him everything, but I am assuming you want to be able to provide some of these sorts of things for your child so he or she can have a comfortable childhood.
I would definitely work up a mock budget with the costs of all these basic expenses before you make your decision.
Child support is about 1/3 of your income until the child is 18. I'm not sure if you'll have to pay now but you will have to pay when you turn 18.
I hope your relationship goes well, but people do grow and change a lot between 14 and adulthood. You guys might have completely different lives and interests when you're 25 or 30. It can happen that you two stay together forever but most people do not end up with the person they went out with at age 14/15.
I would consider the following whenmaking your decision:
- Where will you two live with your child in a few years? I am assuming you will be living with your parents until you're 18 but after that you are an adult with a family, so you'll need your own place. I would search Craig's List in your town to see what the average rent for an apartment in your area goes for. Make up a pretend budget. Add car payments and gas expenses, auto insurance (ask your parents what they pay, then add a little more because younger drivers have to pay a higher insurance premium), groceries for three people, utilities, (utilities means your heat, electric bill, water, cable bill if you watch TV and use the internet), cell phone bill if you have one, now add baby food, diapers, clothing health care for the baby, and day care costs.
- Most full time jobs that a teenager can get without a college degree or a good vocational training program do not pay enough for a single person to live comfortably on their own, never mind supporting a family. You might be able to scrape by in a really cheap area where the cost of living is low but otherwise you may be caught in a welfare trap. What are you and your girlfriend's career plans? Ask yourself if you'll be realistically able to go to college or complete a training program in your field of choice while taking care of a baby full time. A minimum wage job is great for a teenager but you don't want to be still stuck working at one when you are grown up with bills to pay, those kinds of jobs just don't cut it.
- Child care - Do you have a plan for who is going to watch the child every day while you guys finish high school, and hopefully go on to college? Keep in mind that you will have to be working a lot in addition to your classes. Books, tuition, car expenses and auto insurance are major expenses for teenagers with part time jobs. Most jobs you can get at age 15 or 16 pay minimum wage (cashiering, salesperson at the mall, bus boy or waiter...all good jobs for teenagers but they don't pay a lot) Day care is very expensive, adult working households with two parents working pretty good middle class jobs often have trouble affording child care. Did one of your parents volunteer to stay home and provide child care for your baby, for free? Some teenage parents are lucky and have that option, but if your parents have their own jobs you'll be paying for full time day care. I would definitely call the local day cares and get pricing and see if that is something that is affordable to you.
- Keep in mind that this baby won't stay a baby...he or she will be about six years old when you are still barely 21. You will either be finishing up college or if you choose a trade you will probably still be an apprentice just starting out not making much money yet. Now the child will be in school and asking to join youth hockey, ballet, karate, piano lessons, etc. These things cost a lot of money. He will need nice clothes for school, a lot more expensive than little footie pajamas for infants. He will be invited to birthday parties for classmates and have to bring a gift. He'll want a bike and the video games and toys that all his friends have, lunch money, money for field trips, trips to the movies with friends, etc. Not saying you have to spoil him and buy him everything, but I am assuming you want to be able to provide some of these sorts of things for your child so he or she can have a comfortable childhood.
I would definitely work up a mock budget with the costs of all these basic expenses before you make your decision.
Is a vasectomy the best investment you could ever make? Besides buying a house?
Gonzo
I think I am going to get one with my first paycheck out of college. I'd rather have a dog that pisses and eats everything than a rugrat. Besides dogs are always fun to have and if you get tired of one you can give it away. I guess you can do the same with a kid.
Anyone get the procedure? How long does it take to heal? How much was it?
Answer
I had my vasectomy at 21 (as my 22nd birthday gift). I never wanted kids. I know lots of guys that have kids, as well as quite a handful that made the same decision as you and I did.
Let us examine some of the aspects of having a vasectomy young:
Happiness: If you ask the men whom have kids if they would have done it differently you get some interesting answers: Ask in public, and they will say that they would not trade their kids for anything in the world. Ask in private, they will say, âWhy on gods green earth didnât I use condoms?â.
Economics: Back in 1989 I paid $250 cash. I didnât have health insurance. I went to a non-profit clinic. That means the cost came to $1.10 per month(over 19 years). Most men, I know pay child support. Most pay at least $300 a month per child. None of this includes paying for school, clothing, bail, and all the other things that kids cost.
So was getting a vasectomy a good idea?: Just one look at all the stamps in my passport, or the photographs I have taken around the world is more than enough evidence that I made the right choice. That is not bad for 15 min on the operating table, two days recovery, and $250!
Is a vasectomy detectable?: There is no scar, and nobody will ever know. Nobody ever needs to know that you got it! I think you should keep it a secret. The reason is simple. At your age, most women are not going to date you if they know you are fixed. When you are older, like me, it is a plus. At my age 1 in 5 women donât want kids. Two of the remaining 4 have kids that are grown, and donât want more of them.
About the surgery: It was a âpiece of cakeâ. It took 15 min. I drove myself home. I had it done on a Friday afternoon. I was back to work on Monday. That is it. It hurts about as much as getting a tattoo. That was it.
Novelty: Next year I plan to have a 20 year vasectomy party. Yes, I am so happy about my choice, that the novelty has not worn off in 20 years! In 2004, I attended my 20 year high school reunion. I was amazed at the number of men that did the same.
Health: Many men, my age, whom have kids, look old enough to be my father. I can stand side by side with men that are 10 years younger than I am, and people will think I am the same age or younger. It is not because I stay inside. To be honest, I am very much an outdoor person. It is because I donât have kids.
BTW: I love my dog, and my Child-Free girlfriend!
I had my vasectomy at 21 (as my 22nd birthday gift). I never wanted kids. I know lots of guys that have kids, as well as quite a handful that made the same decision as you and I did.
Let us examine some of the aspects of having a vasectomy young:
Happiness: If you ask the men whom have kids if they would have done it differently you get some interesting answers: Ask in public, and they will say that they would not trade their kids for anything in the world. Ask in private, they will say, âWhy on gods green earth didnât I use condoms?â.
Economics: Back in 1989 I paid $250 cash. I didnât have health insurance. I went to a non-profit clinic. That means the cost came to $1.10 per month(over 19 years). Most men, I know pay child support. Most pay at least $300 a month per child. None of this includes paying for school, clothing, bail, and all the other things that kids cost.
So was getting a vasectomy a good idea?: Just one look at all the stamps in my passport, or the photographs I have taken around the world is more than enough evidence that I made the right choice. That is not bad for 15 min on the operating table, two days recovery, and $250!
Is a vasectomy detectable?: There is no scar, and nobody will ever know. Nobody ever needs to know that you got it! I think you should keep it a secret. The reason is simple. At your age, most women are not going to date you if they know you are fixed. When you are older, like me, it is a plus. At my age 1 in 5 women donât want kids. Two of the remaining 4 have kids that are grown, and donât want more of them.
About the surgery: It was a âpiece of cakeâ. It took 15 min. I drove myself home. I had it done on a Friday afternoon. I was back to work on Monday. That is it. It hurts about as much as getting a tattoo. That was it.
Novelty: Next year I plan to have a 20 year vasectomy party. Yes, I am so happy about my choice, that the novelty has not worn off in 20 years! In 2004, I attended my 20 year high school reunion. I was amazed at the number of men that did the same.
Health: Many men, my age, whom have kids, look old enough to be my father. I can stand side by side with men that are 10 years younger than I am, and people will think I am the same age or younger. It is not because I stay inside. To be honest, I am very much an outdoor person. It is because I donât have kids.
BTW: I love my dog, and my Child-Free girlfriend!
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