Jealous friend who tried to stop me from marrying. Continue friendship or keep him out my life?

Olga

This is going to be a bit long:

I got married when I was 18 in 1998. I was working in a pub where I met an old gentleman, lets call him George. He was in his late 60's and we really hit it off. Not in a sexual manner but in a friendly manner. His wife had passed away a few years before and he'd moved to the town because his daughter lived there. He didn't know anyone and we got along. By this time my marriage was on the rocks, not due to George but because my husband and I had developed a few differences (not surprisingly). George was very supportive of me and my decision to divorce. I also introduced George to my mother (divorced from my father) and grandmother. Once a week George would pop around to visit my grandma to have some tea. My mom works in a shopping mall and once a week George would pop around there as well to visit and take her to lunch. He really became part of all our lives. He was happy because he'd made new friends. Regularly George and I went out for dinner, I took him for drives through the country and we did fun things together. It was like getting grandpa out of the house for a while and letting him have some fun. He became quite ill in 2003 and spent a while in hospital. When he came back home and couldn't go anywhere I used to get us some nice takeaways and visit him.

I went to study when I was 21 and still kept in close contact with him. Over weekends we'd go places and I got him out the house. When I was 26 I met a man whom I married in 2006. During this time I still kept in contact with George on a daily basis. My husband didn't mind and welcomed his visits. I just want you to get the idea that George and I were strictly friends, and that he was in a sense part of the family even though not by blood. Almost like a father/grandfather who I never had. Then my husband passed away of cancer unexpectedly in 2008 and George seemed strangely pleased

I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful man just a few months after my husband passed away. We were just friends but the relationship later blossomed into something more. Of course George was still part of my (and my family's) life and my partner viewed him as part of the family. All went well until I told George that my partner and I planned to marry in November 2010.

Then all hell broke loose. It was also my birthday in November and George decided that he would spend over 7000 bucks for my birthday present (money he definitely didn't have to spend on anything, never mind a birthday gift). This came out of the blue. In previous years he'd always given me some money (never this amount) which I could use to buy something I liked at a later stage.

So when he got news of my impending marriage he suddenly blows a HUGE amount of money. And then he let loose about my husband, whom he had only ever met once. He said that I was making a huge mistake, that my husband was worthless, that he was trying to manipulate me into marrying him. He said that I should reconsider getting married, that this was a bad idea. Suddenly the old man who had been my friend for over 10 years turned nasty. I then put two and two together (I'm a bit slow) and the signs had been there over the years, that George wanted more than friendship. He never ever said it outright but he wanted me to be with him and him alone. He sent my mom text messages to try and convince me not to go ahead with the wedding.

Then I became cross. I confronted him and he sheepishly admitted that he was in love with me. I found this all really shocking, because the man who'd been my 'grandpa' over the last 10 years, and part of the family, was hopelessly in love with me. Because of the nastiness and ugliness which he expressed about the marriage I cut off contact with him. I told him that he was no longer invited to the wedding and that I could not continue a friendship/relationship with him any longer since it was all a farce. He then wanted to give me the birthday present that he'd spent so much money on. I told him that I could not accept it (it was a Kruger rand in a setting and a gold necklace). He said that if I could wear another man's wedding ring then I could wear his jewelry too.

With that, I left him with his Kruger rand and haven't seen him since. My mom also went to see him and told him that under these circumstances she could also not continue her friendship with him. It's now been 6 months and he still contacts me, sending "I love you" and "I miss you". I don't reply.

I feel a bit guilty about all this now, even though my mom and my husband said I shouldn't, since George was the one in the wrong.

Now for the question: under these circumstances, do you think that I should get back into contact with him and try to salvage what is left of our 'friendship', or continue to ignore him and keep him cut out of my lif

Answer
The story looked SO long. I didn't want to read it but I'm glad I did. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! He likes you , and he's like in his late 70s. I understand that he wanted to tell you what was in his heart, but after a whole decade of you seeing him as a grandfather, and the age difference between you two, he is being EXTREMELY SELFISH to say that you should love him back or anything else along those lines. This is completely gross and you should avoid him for the rest of your life. OMG!!
By the way, I know I'm being a bit rude about him, but he IS too old to even consider a relationship more than friendship. AVOID HIM, THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.

My parents are going to a 60 year old man and his 63 year old sisters birthday party. What to get them?

pinkprince

His sister is mentally retarted and uses a wheelchair. What should my parents and where should they get it from? Any ideas?
Thanks

Answer
Gift card to a nice restaurant? Box of chocolates? Movie ticket passes. Whatever hobby or interests, get something for that. Whatever you'd get anyone else in that age group.

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