Q. Please give me your honest thoughts since I don't want to have a wrong opinion about this man.
I'm in my early 20's, and he's already in his 70's. I've known him for about 6, 7 years from my workplace, which is a university related environment. He is a very knowledgeable and well respected person (at least from what I know). He occasionally takes me out to lunch and always gives me my birthday presents and Christmas gifts over the years. They are not expensive gifts, mostly classical CD's, books, pictures of nature that he took and developed. I always returned the favor by buying something for him on his birthday and Christmas. He often mentioned that he wanted to help me enrich my knowledge, since he thought that my friends and the people I was around were narrow. He also offered to introduce me to some foreign exchange students around my age that he knew.
I always want to think of him like my mentor, since he is an intelligent man who knows a lot about science, arts, and languages. Most of our conversations were about things like that. I didn't want to talk to him too much about his or my personal life, except on a few occasions. Overall, I enjoyed his company, but I wasn't really comfortable when he often offered to hold my hand when we walked or gave me kisses on my cheeks when we said goodbye (I already gave him friendly hugs). I tried not to think too much about it since he had actually lived in Europe a couple years when he was younger, so maybe it became his habit. He sometimes joked that I would be his trophy girlfriend, and I always told myself that it was just a joke.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me recently, so I was sad and shed tears when I talked about it. I needed people to listen, analyze, and give me their opinions about my break-up, and since I'd already bored my family and close friends about it, I decided to talk to him, just to hear another male perspective. I went over to his house around 8 - 8:30 p.m. after my shift from work. That was the first time I went to his house. He made me some tea, turned on some classical music, gave me a tour around the house. I saw some nude pictures of women on the walls, but I tried to brush if off. Finally, we sat down and talked about my problem. I didn't understand why he dimmed the lights, but then again, I tried to brush if off and focused on my story. By the time we talked about it, I was pretty much over the break-up and realized that it was not a big deal anymore. I wasn't acting angry, crying, or looking desperate at all. I just wanted to analyze things and get his opinion about my ex-boyfriend.
I talked about my relationship for a while. He asked me what type of man that I was looking for. I told him my preferences. He then asked me if I found him "sexy". I thought that was a joke, and didn't want to make him feel bad, so I said yes and keep on talking about my problem. After awhile, he asked me how the sex was. I was uncomfortable, just briefly told him that my ex was unable to give me an orgasm. I told him that I just wanted to know about my ex's feelings for me, since I knew that my ex was inexperienced and of course, must have not been that into me at the end of the relationship to actually try making it better. I tried to steer away from talking about sex for two or three times, but he kept on talking about how a man should "make love" to the woman. He went on and on about that for about 10 minutes, then suddenly, he talked about oral sex and told me that he had been able to give a woman multiple orgasms for 1.5 - 2 hours, and how the whole process only seemed like 5 minutes for him. He even went on to vaguely describe oral sex, but I won't type it here. The whole time, he said that he didn't want to turn me on, just wanted to give me an idea how a man should be able to do that. I forgot to add that he'd usually mentioned to take me to Europe and show me around. He even said that again that night, while just a couple minutes earlier, he'd told me that my idea of going to NYC alone with one of my close guy friend would make that guy think that it was an invitation to something else.
Nothing bad happened that night, I went home safely. I just received two emails from him, but I haven't replied yet. The first one was to thank me about my long and open conversation, and how he hoped he gave me some useful information. The second one was like "food for thoughts" (the ones that you usually find in chained emails about friendship, relationship...). He told me to keep in touch in both emails.
I don't know what to think. It'd be sad if I cut all contacts with him and he is actually a good person. At the same time, I don't want to put myself in danger if he is not.
Thank you for reading and helping.
I'm in my early 20's, and he's already in his 70's. I've known him for about 6, 7 years from my workplace, which is a university related environment. He is a very knowledgeable and well respected person (at least from what I know). He occasionally takes me out to lunch and always gives me my birthday presents and Christmas gifts over the years. They are not expensive gifts, mostly classical CD's, books, pictures of nature that he took and developed. I always returned the favor by buying something for him on his birthday and Christmas. He often mentioned that he wanted to help me enrich my knowledge, since he thought that my friends and the people I was around were narrow. He also offered to introduce me to some foreign exchange students around my age that he knew.
I always want to think of him like my mentor, since he is an intelligent man who knows a lot about science, arts, and languages. Most of our conversations were about things like that. I didn't want to talk to him too much about his or my personal life, except on a few occasions. Overall, I enjoyed his company, but I wasn't really comfortable when he often offered to hold my hand when we walked or gave me kisses on my cheeks when we said goodbye (I already gave him friendly hugs). I tried not to think too much about it since he had actually lived in Europe a couple years when he was younger, so maybe it became his habit. He sometimes joked that I would be his trophy girlfriend, and I always told myself that it was just a joke.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me recently, so I was sad and shed tears when I talked about it. I needed people to listen, analyze, and give me their opinions about my break-up, and since I'd already bored my family and close friends about it, I decided to talk to him, just to hear another male perspective. I went over to his house around 8 - 8:30 p.m. after my shift from work. That was the first time I went to his house. He made me some tea, turned on some classical music, gave me a tour around the house. I saw some nude pictures of women on the walls, but I tried to brush if off. Finally, we sat down and talked about my problem. I didn't understand why he dimmed the lights, but then again, I tried to brush if off and focused on my story. By the time we talked about it, I was pretty much over the break-up and realized that it was not a big deal anymore. I wasn't acting angry, crying, or looking desperate at all. I just wanted to analyze things and get his opinion about my ex-boyfriend.
I talked about my relationship for a while. He asked me what type of man that I was looking for. I told him my preferences. He then asked me if I found him "sexy". I thought that was a joke, and didn't want to make him feel bad, so I said yes and keep on talking about my problem. After awhile, he asked me how the sex was. I was uncomfortable, just briefly told him that my ex was unable to give me an orgasm. I told him that I just wanted to know about my ex's feelings for me, since I knew that my ex was inexperienced and of course, must have not been that into me at the end of the relationship to actually try making it better. I tried to steer away from talking about sex for two or three times, but he kept on talking about how a man should "make love" to the woman. He went on and on about that for about 10 minutes, then suddenly, he talked about oral sex and told me that he had been able to give a woman multiple orgasms for 1.5 - 2 hours, and how the whole process only seemed like 5 minutes for him. He even went on to vaguely describe oral sex, but I won't type it here. The whole time, he said that he didn't want to turn me on, just wanted to give me an idea how a man should be able to do that. I forgot to add that he'd usually mentioned to take me to Europe and show me around. He even said that again that night, while just a couple minutes earlier, he'd told me that my idea of going to NYC alone with one of my close guy friend would make that guy think that it was an invitation to something else.
Nothing bad happened that night, I went home safely. I just received two emails from him, but I haven't replied yet. The first one was to thank me about my long and open conversation, and how he hoped he gave me some useful information. The second one was like "food for thoughts" (the ones that you usually find in chained emails about friendship, relationship...). He told me to keep in touch in both emails.
I don't know what to think. It'd be sad if I cut all contacts with him and he is actually a good person. At the same time, I don't want to put myself in danger if he is not.
Thank you for reading and helping.
Answer
well i wouldn't cut of all relations with that man, i'd just ease off and make sure that if you spend time with him it's in a public place and maybe find another boyfriend so that you won't look available.
well i wouldn't cut of all relations with that man, i'd just ease off and make sure that if you spend time with him it's in a public place and maybe find another boyfriend so that you won't look available.
How do I throw a 30th Birthday Party for my single friend?
Help me ou
My single girlfriend is turn 30 this year. Does anyone have an clever ideas for decorations or a theme?
Answer
I'm single and also turning 30 this year. Hey, maybe you're my friend and this party is for me! ha! just kidding... ;)
If she's anything like me, and dreads turning 30, the last thing I want is to have people rubbing my new age-bracket in my face. Who wants to be reminded of how old they are getting when they're still single? So forego any "Over-the-Hill" type of decorations, or anything referring to "Old Maid" (I absolutely HATE that term!!!) Here are some parties that she may like:
-Honestly, I think a dinner party with her closest friends would be the best. Make reservations at her favorite restaurant and make a fun night of it. Take pictures!
-If she hates the thought of turning 30, do a "Happy 1st Anniversary of turning 29" party. Have 29 pink candles and 1 white candle decorating a white-frosted cake.
-Decorate the party like the 70's since that was the year she was born and have everyone wear 70's attire and play 70's music. Have 70's style posters decorating the room and maybe a history board of pictures of her growing through the years.
-Or if she's a fan of the 80's, throw an 80's style party, same idea as the 70's version...
-Or perhaps if she's a movie buff, have a party of "Big Movie Hits of the Last Three Decades". Have everyone dress up as their favorite movie character over the last 30 years.
-Maybe have people bring inexpensive gifts in thirty's. Thirty candy bars, thirty birthday cards about turning 30, a mixed CD with 30 songs on it, etc. Let your guests be the creative ones too.
-Murder mystery parties are awesome.
-Perhaps if you and her close friends can afford it, go on a road trip somewhere and celebrate. Vegas, Atlantic City, etc.
I don't suggest strippers or strip clubs. To me, that's fun in your early 20's. Turning 30 is a big step and the party shouldn't be reduced to something silly, unless she would like that...? *shrug*
***The most important part: Whatever you decide to do, invite men and women. If any of your guests have any potentional, great single men, bring them along! The more the single men, the merrier, right? ;)
Good luck! I'm sure she (and everyone else) will have a blast! And how thoughtful of you to do this for her! :)
I'm single and also turning 30 this year. Hey, maybe you're my friend and this party is for me! ha! just kidding... ;)
If she's anything like me, and dreads turning 30, the last thing I want is to have people rubbing my new age-bracket in my face. Who wants to be reminded of how old they are getting when they're still single? So forego any "Over-the-Hill" type of decorations, or anything referring to "Old Maid" (I absolutely HATE that term!!!) Here are some parties that she may like:
-Honestly, I think a dinner party with her closest friends would be the best. Make reservations at her favorite restaurant and make a fun night of it. Take pictures!
-If she hates the thought of turning 30, do a "Happy 1st Anniversary of turning 29" party. Have 29 pink candles and 1 white candle decorating a white-frosted cake.
-Decorate the party like the 70's since that was the year she was born and have everyone wear 70's attire and play 70's music. Have 70's style posters decorating the room and maybe a history board of pictures of her growing through the years.
-Or if she's a fan of the 80's, throw an 80's style party, same idea as the 70's version...
-Or perhaps if she's a movie buff, have a party of "Big Movie Hits of the Last Three Decades". Have everyone dress up as their favorite movie character over the last 30 years.
-Maybe have people bring inexpensive gifts in thirty's. Thirty candy bars, thirty birthday cards about turning 30, a mixed CD with 30 songs on it, etc. Let your guests be the creative ones too.
-Murder mystery parties are awesome.
-Perhaps if you and her close friends can afford it, go on a road trip somewhere and celebrate. Vegas, Atlantic City, etc.
I don't suggest strippers or strip clubs. To me, that's fun in your early 20's. Turning 30 is a big step and the party shouldn't be reduced to something silly, unless she would like that...? *shrug*
***The most important part: Whatever you decide to do, invite men and women. If any of your guests have any potentional, great single men, bring them along! The more the single men, the merrier, right? ;)
Good luck! I'm sure she (and everyone else) will have a blast! And how thoughtful of you to do this for her! :)
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